Musings of a coach: It's never too early or too late. It's NOW!

Just a quick thought today, inspired by Britain's Got Talent's Susan Boyle and The X-Factor 2009 winner, Joe McElderry.


For their dreams, Susan wasn't too old and Joe wasn't too young. They both dreamed, believed, pursued and apprehended! They started with nothing but talent and dreams and this soon attracted the missing pieces to their jig-saws. Simon Cowell, TV producer and mentor of the pair, commented after Joe's win that it is the artiste's self-belief that creates their success and not their recording company. Worthy of note!


What is your dream? What talent, skills, abilities or experiences are you starting off with? Are you daunted because you presently cannot see how this could all work out? Don't be! Like Joe and Susan, believe in yourself and your dream. Keep working with what you have now. In due season, if you don't give up, you will attract your missing pieces and your dream will become reality.

Filling in the Colours

“No one can get an education, for of necessity education is a continuing process. A teacher is only a guide to point out the way and no school, no matter how excellent, can give you education. What you receive is like the outlines in a child’s colouring book. You must fill in the colours by yourself.”

Louis L’Amour (1908 – 1988), who left school at 15 and became a prolific author of American Western novels.


I found this interesting quote by Louis L’Amour and felt I had to share it with you. It caused me to ponder on the different ways that one could “fill in the colours” by one’s self. What do you think? How could you do some filling in?

I think we could do this in 3 ways:

1. Acquiring all the knowledge, skills and experiences we need to achieve our life’s goals.

2. Getting all the personal development to turn us into who we need to be, in order to lay hold of our dreams.

3. Seizing all the opportunities we can, creating them where possible.

Could you add some more?

I think the important part of the quote is the “by yourself” part. To achieve our dreams and aspirations we’ve got to be proactive. And as Anthony Robbins says, take massive action. Without procrastination. In fact it’s massive, immediate action!

How could you take some massive, immediate action, filling in the colours by yourself, to achieve an outrageous goal today? Haven’t got an outrageous goal? Please stop for a moment and set one up right away, while the iron is still hot! Set yourself an outrageous goal today and go for it, massively. That’s what I’m doing at the moment, and though it could be frightening, I like what I’m achieving.

Care to share your outrageous goal? Go on, commit yourself. Just hit reply and spell it out. A written goal is a nearly-done goal!

Copyright 2009 Oma Edoja

To read my inspirational ezine click here.

Still Plan-less and Goal-less?

We all know that planning can significantly increase our chances of success. We’ve heard it over and over how only 3% of all people have written goals and are the successful ones. Everyone knows they should have some kind of plan. But in reality, most of us still carry on, plan-less and goal-less, and wonder why we don’t succeed.


I am swallowing my own medicine here. I’ve always known my business should have a plan, and indeed I do have one. But the way I usually work is to take out sections of my business plan and then generate micro, daily ones. And I haven’t done this in a while. However, I have recently recommitted to my own success and as I write this piece, my written micro-plan lies on the table beside me! All of a sudden, the frustration and confusion have faded away. Now I know what I should be doing each day, how much of it and when. As long as I am patient and consistent, my efforts will compound and I will get where I am headed. This proven strategy has worked for me every time. Phew! That medicine sure tasted good!


Is there some area of your life where you know a written plan could make all the difference? Have you been procrastinating about it? My recommendation is this: If your own success is important to you, schedule a 30 minute planning session with yourself, within the next 24 hours. Can’t free up the time and space? You could have your planning session on the ride home from work, while you wait your turn in the salon/barbers’, or over lunch. You may not be able to quieten the world around you, but you can quieten the world within you, and then get to work. Just set your 3 most important goals. Next, break them down into smaller tasks, setting completion dates for each. Try to do at least one thing on your plan each day. Forgive yourself if you slip up, and then get back on track. And of course, celebrate your victories. It’ll only be a matter of time before you reach your target.


Copyright © 2009 Oma Edoja

Set your top 3 goals here: http://tinyurl.com/nxakma

Get help with following your plan here: http://www.careerandliferenew.com/page11.htm

Where is Your Comfort Zone?

Do you have one? It’s possible you are sitting there right now! A comfort zone is a place where we stay because we feel safe there, in familiar surroundings. No unsettling surprises. No uncomfortable stretching. Just the familiar sights and sounds that we've grown used to. Sounds like a nice place, doesn't it? Well, not all, if any, comfort zones are nice. They can be negative places and experiences, with toxic people all around. They could hold us captive and steal our dreams. But because we are at least familiar with our comfort zones, and know what to expect, we become "acclimatized" to the negativity and toxins. And so we stay there.


Your comfort zone could be the safe place of poverty and underachievement. It doesn't feel good. You envy those who have fled it. But you can't see life any other way. Just where or how would you start? The last person you know who escaped "The Zone" spent several years studying far into the night. And kept talking of a new career and retraining. Then there was that couple down the road who gave up their steady (but low-paid) jobs. You heard they started a business together. Good for them, but frightening to you. Imagine what it would be like if you failed! Your comfort zone could be an abusive relationship, a self-sabotaging habit, a dead-end job or a boring routine. But because it is what you know, and are used to, you stick with it.


Why not take a moment to examine your current life and career situations? Are you in a comfort zone? Are your present habits, values, choices and associations moving you forward or holding you captive? Following are some points to ponder:

1. If you consider yourself to be in a comfort zone at present, describe this zone.

2. What would your life look like 5 years from now, if you remained in your comfort zone?

3. Why do you think you remain in your comfort zone? If you have fears, name these.

4. What, if anything, could you gain from leaving your comfort zone?

5. Do you want whatever it is that you stand to gain from leaving this zone?

6. What would it take for you to leave this zone?

7. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to leave your comfort zone?

8. What support do you need to help you leave your comfort zone?

9. How could you obtain this support?

10. When are you ready to take action? Put in place a written plan. Seek the support you require and get started.


For further information and support to escape a crippling comfort zone, you may contact Oma at info@careerandliferenew.com or visit Oma's new website : http://www.careerandliferenew.com

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Coasts Enlarging

Hi dear visitor,

I'm in a "really cool" mood right now! Why? Because my coasts are enlarging!
After practicing coaching and personal development as hobbies for the past 3 or 4 years I have finally set up as a professional coach. Yep, my brand new coaching practice is gearing up to launch in September this year!

I'm in high spirits because this has been a dream I've held onto for many years. Somehow, life got in the way, but I've managed to keep pressing forward and now my dream's a reality!

Are you pressing forward with any of your dreams at present? I urge you not to give up. I literally went through "hell and high water" to achieve my dream. No one said it would be easy, right? In fact, "easy" is for average or below average people. You and I are of a different kind! So we’ve got to keep on pressing, till we get “there.”
My new coaching practice is called Career and Life Renew, a.k.a. CLR. My "shop window" is currently under construction, but if you hop on down to www.careerandliferenew.com there's presently a gift on offer. I plan on taking it down once the site is ready so do hurry.

Career and Life Renew is geared to offer support to smart and savvy working women who want more in their lives and careers. Sorry guys, this isn't discrimination! I just had to narrow my niche for better business building. But guys are welcome too as the tips and resources on offer will benefit us all.

Our flagship service is the CLR Life and Career Makeover, and I'm really excited about this! We'll be helping women achieve better self-awareness and self-appreciation, to find out what options are out there for them, and to support them in getting there. They’ll be reinventing themselves and their careers! At CLR we believe today's woman can have her cake and eat it. She can have the kind of career that not only satisfies but allows her to have the life she wants. This is an absolute must for me in my life, and I know that many of you want it too. I am happy to have carved out the work I love around the life I love. Being quite a night owl this means I can work all night and sleep all morning. I'll also be taking time out this week to go and watch my son play football. A working mother’s bliss!

Forgive me if I've been ranting. As I said, I'm in high spirits! And I'd like to share the joy with you too. So please take a trip to www.careerandliferenew.com if you’d like more info on the life and career makeover. Who knows, by this time next year you could also be doing the work you love, around the life you love!

I hope to meet with you at CareerandLifeRenew.com And please bring your friends!

All the best,

Oma

Career and Life Coach,
Reinvent Your Life, Revitalize Your Career!
www.careerandliferenew.com
info@careerandliferenew.com

Inspiration from the Life and Death of Michael Jackson

Hi,

I'd like to share with you an article I wrote. I hope you gain some inspiration from it. Here it is (click on the link below):

http://ezinearticles.com/?Inspiration-From-the-Life-and-Death-of-Michael-Jackson&id=2576312

Have a great day,

Oma Edoja

Life and Career Coach

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Have you ever felt your life or career could do with an overhaul, or some new direction? For a no-fee assessment of your life and career, plus an action plan to move things forward, email Oma today at turnaroundresources@gmail.com
We'll take a look at your goals, values, personality type and more. Armed with a new self-awareness and increased clarity you'll be able to make better life and career decisions. Email today!
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Some Interesting Facts about Worrying

A few days ago I came across some interesting research facts. They are:

• 50% of Brits spend their spare time worrying about work

• 80% of the things people fear or worry about never happen!

We Brits seem to be doing quite a lot of worrying, as do the rest of the world. The above figures show that it clearly isn’t necessary as 80% of our worries never come to pass in the first place! Talk about an overactive mind! Someone once said that “worry is the wrong use of the imagination” and I agree!

Our fears and worries only have a 20% chance of ever happening and we can reduce this even further, or totally eradicate it, by setting goals and working them. An even more certain approach would be to work on our goals with a coach. The skills, experience and non-judgmental support of a coach could tide us over when motivation wanes and uncertainty sets in. A coach can also help you handle life’s distractions, something you may be too pre-occupied to do effectively by yourself.

Great personal success teacher Brian Tracy says,

“Goals allow you to control the direction of change. Goals assure that change in your life is predominantly in the direction that you want to go. Goals give you control over the critical elements of your life. Goals give you a greater sense of personal power and well-being.”

Think of that!

1. What is your desired direction of change?
Here, list your top 3 goals for this year. You want to move towards these goals, and away from hurdles and distractions.

2. What are the critical elements of your life that relate to your goals?
I invite you to work these out as we coach together, zooming in on them, disempowering your distractions.

You can therefore retire any worries and fears, and make sure your dreams do come true. Worrying is futile and self-limiting. Following your goals gives you empowerment and certainty. Certainty that any goals we work on together will happen. All it takes to get your success started is to set those daily, weekly and monthly plans, and follow them. And you can get started today!

Here’s wishing you more motivation and fulfillment, and may you never give up on those dreams.

Let's get working,

Your coach,

Oma


Copyright (c) 2009 Oma Edoja

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To set up a complimentary 15 minute telephone call to find out more about coaching with Oma email turnaroundresources@gmail.com Remember to state where you'll be calling from, for logistics purposes.

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What to do if you don’t love your job :(

We need to work to pay the bills, make the world go round and to give ourselves a sense of contribution. Research tells us that a large part of the work force hate their jobs and for most people, a dream job is just that, a dream. So what’s to do if you hate your job? Here’s what I’d recommend:

• Have a real good think and decide what you like and dislike about your job. Make a list of both.

• Be thankful for the “likes” then take a look at all the “dislikes.” Can they be modified, re-negotiated, scrapped, delegated or changed in some way? Could you come up with an alternative and present this to your boss? Could you apply for another role? If you could change the “dislikes” would this make your job more pleasant?

• If a change is not possible could you seek a new job? No jobs available, you think? Sounds like you need a life coach! It’s true that many firms aren’t currently employing in today’s economic climate, but it is also true that some of them are. And there are still people bagging new jobs! It’s my opinion that these times call for aggressive job-hunting strategies. You can’t keep doing what you’ve always done and expect to stand out in a downturn. We may not all be able to find a new job, but who says you can’t? Have faith!

• You could consider alternatives to seeking out a new job, such as starting up a business or going solo as a freelance professional. Research also says that business start-ups are on the increase in this recession. Some experts believe this is in fact the best time to strike out.

• You may need to up-grade your skills, revamp your CV and have your belief system overhauled to accommodate new possibilities.

Whatever you do, I wouldn’t recommend staying in a situation you hate. In the long run this could be stressful, bad for your health, stealing your happiness and consequently that of those around you. That’s not to say that you should up and leave your current job without an alternative, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. For a personal assessment of your situation, an overhaul of your belief system or a look at your possibilities why not contact Oma today?
Email: turnaroundresourcse@gmail.com

Copyright© 2009 Oma Edoja

People Behaving Badly

Today I had to deal with a very rude woman on the phone. Representatives of her company are usually either very rude or detached and indifferent. Their service, if you can call it that, is almost always shoddy, and I can hardly wait till I don’t need them anymore! Have you ever had to deal with people like that? Or worse still (cringe!), have you ever behaved this way to a client or customer?

When people bark down the phone instead of treating customers with respect it reveals a lot about their situation. Those who are habitually rude to customers most likely:

(1) Do not enjoy their jobs. If they did, the sun would shine through their cloudy work day and angry customers would be calmed by them, not the other way round!

(2) Do not have a very healthy self-image. People who have self-respect tend to show respect to others. Conversely, those who feel bad about themselves have a hard time feeling good about others.

(3) Have a poor coping strategy or none at all. Granted, you may be having a hard day or dealing with difficult customers, but this is no excuse to be rude. The customer is still king. The rule is, don’t take things personally, and don’t let customers bear the brunt of your personal problems. Work out a coping strategy, and smile while you’re at it!

So, are you in a job you hate?

Is your self-esteem low?

Are you in need of a strong coping strategy to help you deal with life’s ups and downs?

Is all this stealing your joy?

If you answered Yes to any of these questions, your situation could be affecting your health, relationships, job performance and a whole lot more. The good news is that you can do something to turn things around. In the next few weeks I’ll be handling these issues here on this blog so please check back if you’d like more information. In the meantime, you can gauge your “Job Joy” by taking the Job Joy Quiz™. Scroll down to the next article, but please smile first!

The Job Joy Quiz™.

Score yourself on a scale of 1 – 5 where

1 = not true at all, never,

2 = not often, just sometimes,

3 = not sure, don’t know,

4 = quite often true, and

5 = all the time, exactly! How did you know!

Here's the quiz, rate each statement:

(a) You dread coming to work every day, not just on Mondays.

(b) Lunch break and closing are the high points of your day.

(c) You’ve been there and done all there is with your job and have no more expectations for this role.

(d) You feel used by your company. They work you to the bone and don’t keep their promises.

(e) You’re only in this job because you couldn’t find anything else.

(f) You have this recurring dream where you fire your boss and take his/her job.

(g) You leave projects till the last minute, do as little as you can get away with and have a problem with punctuality.

(h) You spend most of your work day chatting with colleagues, playing computer games, checking personal email or taking personal calls. Actual work is such a bore.

(i) You’re constantly scanning the job vacancies columns and surfing job search sites.

(j) You’re always in need of a pick-me-up, like a coffee or energy drink.


Moment of truth! Total your scores. How much Job Joy do you have?

10 – 30 You’re having a whale of a time. Way to go! You do more than expected and your boss knows s/he can count on you. You’ve got plenty of Job Joy. Good for you!

31 – 40 You’re on middle ground, loving your job some days and loathing it on others. Think deep to find out what may be causing the see-saw. Do you need an attitude change, a career move or a complete re-invention? You could do with more joy in your job!

41 – 50 Need I say it? You wish every day were a Bank holiday. You absolutely resent your job. The loathing is draining you emotionally, and it’s weighing you down in other areas of your life. You need to assess your situation and begin charting your next steps. You have little or no Job Joy and it’s time for drastic action.

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Oma’s coaching program More Job Joy™ is designed to help you assess your strengths, values and motivations to enable you find the work you love. For more information and More Job Joy™ contact Oma at turnaroundresources@gmail.com

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Help for Interview Nerves and Exam Fever Part 2

In my last post I explained how self-limiting thoughts give rise to negative emotions, such as fear and self-doubt. These negative emotions lead on to associated bodily reactions, such as a racing heart beat, shaking hands, stammering, shrill voice, lack of concentration e.t.c. With the body reacting like this, it is then no wonder that the body’s functioning and the individual’s productivity are impaired. If this becomes a habit, or a vicious cycle, the individual goes on to think more failure, gets more impaired performance and this results in a loss of confidence and resignation to failure.

Let’s look into a hypothetical case. Vicky is terrified of any kind of assessment. She does well in any other circumstance but cannot get past writing her name on an exam paper, or saying her name at an interview. Working with her life coach, it was uncovered that Vicky has self-limiting beliefs to the effect that she is no good at anything, and never will be. Any time she attempts an exam or even thinks of an interview she is overcome by fear of failing yet again. She loses her voice, her hands tremble and her mind goes blank. To cut the narrative short, Vicky is now working with her coach on her personal belief system, as this is where her problems stem from.

Typical questions and exercises she will be working on with her coach are:

1. Can you tell me why you believe you are no good at anything?

2. What evidence do you have to support this claim?

3. Can you make a list of any achievements you are proud of, in your personal life or your work?

4. If you achieved all this (referring to question 3), is it true then, that you are no good at anything?

5. Again, if you achieved all this, do you think it is possible for you to do the same in other areas of your life? Would you be willing to try?
Vicki and her coach would also make a list of all her limiting beliefs and negative self-talk (things she tells herself). They would look at how this has been setting her up for failure. They would take the next step – getting rid of these limiting thoughts and beliefs.

One way would be to write out the exact opposites of Vicky’s beliefs , e.g. where she had written “I am no good at anything,” she would replace it with “I am good at whatever I try.” This might seem like lying to yourself, but it is actually reprogramming yourself to follow a more wholesome suggestion than what you’d been following before.

Over time, and with professional support Vicki is replacing her limiting beliefs and negative self-talk with empowering alternatives. She is also setting goals to try new things, working a day at a time towards them, rejoicing over her successes and learning from her failures. She is gradually gathering “evidence” to show that she really can be good at the things she tries. Her next coaching assignment is to prepare a 10 minute speech and deliver it to a group of friends. She has practiced hard and this has increased her confidence. Although a little nervous, Vicky remembers all the new things she has tried in the last few months. She is encouraged to take on this exercise and believes she’ll make a good shot at it! At last, some confidence!

Do you have self-limiting beliefs about your abilities? Do you engage in negative self-talk? Why not try some of the exercises that Vicky did with her coach? You can remove the root cause of the fear of failure and start to win again!

Copyright ©2009 Oma Edoja

Help for Interview Nerves and Exam Fever

If you ever suffer interview nerves or exam fever you know just how debilitating it can be. We all feel a bit of nerves before an important event. This is only a normal apprehension towards the unknown. However, if mild apprehension becomes a crippling phobia then it is time for some help. Following is an exercise to help you understand these fears and bodily responses:

(1) Think back to a time when you faced an exam or interview and had an attack of nerves. Try to recall your thoughts, feelings, words and surroundings as vividly as you can.

(2) Under the following headings write out a description of the scenario: My thoughts, My words, My feelings.
For instance, under My thoughts you might have: I’ll never make it; I never do. I am rubbish and now everyone is going to find out.
For My feelings you might have: terrified, lacking confidence, unsure, nauseous, swimming head, racing heart.

(3) Our thoughts give rise to our feelings. Our feelings trigger off our body's stress response, such as adrenaline-release for “fight-or-flight.” This hormonal activity then leads to physical reactions such as increased heart-beat, racing pulse, nausea, diarrhea, migraine etc. It could even lead to impairment of our body’s functions, such as unsteady hands, now shaking through fear, stammering,loss of memory, a trembling voice, impaired vision, poor concentration and even blacking out.

Now take a look at what you wrote under My thoughts, My words and My feelings. Do you notice any correlation?

I would like to point out that the root cause of the incapacitation we may feel at exams and interviews is most likely the thoughts we think about these situations. Our thoughts of inadequacy cause us to feel fear. Fear sets off the release of stress chemicals such as adrenaline. These trigger off a racing heart beat, shaking hands, cold sweat, nausea etc. As a result of these reactions we are unable to perform at our best in exams and interviews. Which only goes to “confirm” to your mind that you are crap and won’t pass/get the job. Notice the cycle:

Thoughts of failure and inadequacy→ Feelings of fear→ Bodily reactions →Impairment and poor performance →More thoughts of fear, failure and inadequacy.

On this blog I have explained previously how such thoughts and beliefs (limiting beliefs) affect our progress, and how to deal with them. If you have trouble with exam or interview nerves, or think very little of your ability to pass such tests I would advise that you visit the article archive on this blog (below, right pane) to access the following articles:

What's Holding You Back (04/2009) and

Removing and Replacing Limiting Beliefs (04/2009)


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Theses article are solely for educational purposes and do not seek to diagnose or treat fears and phobias. If you are affected by any of the issues highlighted in these articles and would like to discuss your situation with me please email me at turnaroundresources@gmail.com

I would be glad to listen to your concerns, and should you so desire, work with you on a coaching plan to remove your limiting beliefs and help you learn new, empowering behaviours.

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Take Responsibility

We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until…we have stopped saying, “It got lost,” and say, “I lost it.” – Sidney J. Harris

Are you in the habit of shifting blame on to someone or something else? When we do this we remove from ourselves the power to work out our problems. After all, you had nothing to do with it, did you? Fate caused it, so you'll wait for fate to fix it. If only beggars had horses!

Taking ownership of, or responsibility for our problems enables us to take a critical look at the situation and do the following:

(a) Identify what we may have done right that worked, and wrong that didn’t.
(b) Keep doing the right and try to fix the wrong.
(c) Seek help, get it and fix the problem.
(d) Learn what works for us, and what doesn’t.

“It got lost,” says that fate cruelly took it away. “I lost it,” means that I could try to find it and I can take steps to be more careful next time, to prevent further loss.

Which option looks more productive to you? Remember this the next time you are tempted to pass the buck!

Copyright ©2009 Oma Edoja

Look Again, but Right This Time!

It’s strange how our emotional state can affect the way we perceive things. A joke might seem really funny on payday but monumentally cheeky at midmonth! A tough situation could begin to unravel after a good night’s sleep or a walk in the park.

Whenever you find yourself stressed or uptight be aware that things could look different when you’ve calmed down. Get into the habit of stepping back from your situation and taking another look. I know you looked the first time, but this time look proactively. Could some action of yours have brought on your troubles? What could you learn from your experience? Could a mastermind group help you do better? Put yourself in others’ shoes and think, “What would I have done there?”

Constructive self-questioning could help us learn from life and avoid repeating mistakes. Take a break today and ask yourself some really good questions. Look again at the day, but look right this time!

Inspiration Bites

"Many things which cannot be overcome when they are together yield themselves up when taken little by little." -Plutarch

Do your problems appear overwhelming? Do they all seem to close in on you, while you sink to the ground in despair? I have a secret strategy to share with you. It's called "Divide and Conquer." Can you seperate your problems into compartments? Can you write out a series of steps instead of trying to do it all at once? Can you get others to help you handle different aspects of the problem? When you take it apart you get rid of the synergy. There is strength in numbers, but weakness in division.

Fred had "lots of problems." They seemed so frightening that he didn't know where or how to start tackling them. He just did the proverbial burying his head in the sand. Meanwhile the problems grew bigger and stronger. Fred had unpaid bills, health problems and was out of work. Eventually, a friend suggested he come along to a workshop, and so reluctantly Fred did. There he learned how to break problems into smaller pieces and then sort them out by priority. He ended up working with a debt counsellor and his local Jobcentre Plus. Sharing his worries brought him relief. Having trained professionals help work out his problems gave him hope. At the jobcentre his advisor helped put together a more productive CV. Fred learned interview skills and soon found a new job. And did his confidence grow! His health also began to improve as his ailment had been stress-related. He overcame his situation by dividing and conquering.

Don't let your troubles weigh you down. Break them up and tackle the seperate pieces. If you can't do it on your own, get help from others. Take that first step today.

Self-esteem: Upping the Ante

Self-esteem is what or how we think of ourselves. And it isn’t uncommon for this thinking to be out of proportion. Britain’s Got Talent 2009 contestant Jamie Pugh is a case in point. With sonorous voice he still quaked in his boots, overwhelmed by the standing ovation he received.

What do you think of yourself? While not encouraging conceitedness I do acknowledge that a healthy self-image is crucial to your success. Your self-belief could propel you forward or hold you back. Imagine that Jamie Pugh thought he was crap and stayed out of the competition. Granted he was terrified, but he did take the first step. Then there’s Alexandra Burke whose self-belief, in spite of initial rejection, is another side of the self-image coin. Her belief pushed her forward, against the odds, and she’s living her dream today.

So here’s a simple exercise to get you smiling into your mirror and inside your heart. Here goes:

1. Consider your strengths. Yes, you do have them. We all do! Make a list of your strong points, all the aspects of your character you have going for yourself. Are you humourous? Ambitious? Dependable? Logical? Do you think you are calm in the face of trouble? Dependable or decisive? These are all strong points. Go on, ask friends, family, colleagues and neighbours what they think are your strengths.

2. From this list pick the ones you’re most proud of, say, four or five. Next write a supporting sentence or two about each one, giving incidences where you displayed this strength. For example:
· Humorous – I was voted funniest girl/boy in high school.
· Dependable – My boss says she can always count on me.
· Punctual – I won the Most Punctual 2008 award at work.

3. Next, list the strengths pointed out by your friends, family, colleagues and neighbours. As in 2. above, add their supporting sentences.

4. Now list your proudest achievements at work, school, family, charity, whatever you’ve achieved that you’re really proud of. No, excuses not accepted. Go on, write! I bet Jamie Pugh would have said he had no great achievements. But what about that voice?!

Finished! Isn’t that an impressive list! And you thought you didn’t amount to much. Go on, congratulate yourself! There are so many people out there who would want at least one item on your list. Keep this as a reminder, for those rainy days when self-belief dips. Remember, you weren’t the only one who recognized your strengths. You staged an opinion poll!

The best part for me as I watched Jamie’s performance, was when judge Amanda, pointing back to the raving crowd, asked him, “How does that make you feel?” And I ask you now, pointing back to your list, “How does that make you feel?” Hold on to that feeling. It’s just what you need. And it’s called self-esteem.

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You can see and hear Jamie at this url. If it's broken please copy and paste to browser:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1KHRf02ups
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Removing and Replacing Limiting Beliefs

This post is a follow up to last week's What's Holding You Back? If you haven't read this you might find it beneficial to do so first.

Here's the link to What's Holding You Back?
http://turnaroundresources.blogspot.com/2009/04/quick-tip-whats-holding-you-back.html


Did you notice any limiting beliefs lurking around in your mind? If you did please write them down on a sheet of paper. Bringing them out into the open like this is the first step to disempowering them.

Let's start with anyone of your choice. Underline it, or write it out again underneath your list. Next, think of all the scenarios when you've had this thought. Write out all its "supporting evidence."

For example:
Belief: I never do anything right.
"Supporting evidence": Mum/Dad has always said so.
My husband/wife says so.
I left school without any qualifications.
I keep getting fired.

Now, it is important for you to realise that this "supporting evidence" is actually the result of your negative conditioning. If you replace this habit with some positive re-conditioning you should soon begin to see evidence of a more positive kind!

Resolve to give yourself another chance. Mentally put all this "evidence" into a box and burn it up. In reality, this translates as deciding not to listen to it, think on it or believe it. It is no longer true.

Next, think of the situation as you would like to see it

For example:

I always do things right.

Whenever you get the chance, repeat this new belief to yourself, over and over again. Whenever people or situations try to tell you that you never do anything right, stop them. We're talking about your wellbeing here. Stop the thoughts immediately. Ask the people to stop. Walk away if you must.

You became negative by thinking on negative thoughts and listening to negative talk. In the same way you will become positive by listening to positive words and thoughts. Speak to yourself. It's called self-talk. Don't wait for others to affirm you, or circumstances to agree with you. Just keep self-talking yourself positively. This isn't some over-hyped trick. It is actually the way we form our beliefs. So far, self-talking may have worked against you. Now let's make it work for you.
Remember though, you may have been listening to negativity all your life. It could therefore take a while to counteract and replace it. But do keep at it because it works.

Write out your new positive belief. If possible, post it where you will see it everyday. Do this for all of the limiting beliefs on your list. Over time you will notice them lose their grip and slide away. The new empowering beliefs will take hold and replace them. Then you should begin to notice yourself follow through with the corresponding positive action.

If you'd like, you can email me your limiting beliefs and the empowering ones you'd like to replace them with. If you find this too much to do on your own, why not try out a coaching session with me. The first one is free! Just email me now and we can arrange a session.

Next week, on Monday 4th May, I'll post an exercise to help boost your self-image. You won't want to miss it! Remember to invite your friends.

All the very best,

Oma

Bites of Inspiration

Winners are losers who got up and gave it one more try. -Denis Waitley

Worry is the wrong use of the imagination. -Anon.

We can have more than we've got because we can become more than we are. -Jim Rohn

Quick Tip: What's Holding You Back?

If over time you are not achieving the results you desire I recommend that you take a look inside yourself, instead of blaming something else for your lack of success. Your belief system could be holding you back.

Imagine a young man who desires to earn more money. He has a large family to feed and desperately needs the increase. But this young man grew up believing that money is the root of all evil, and that poverty is synonymous with righteousness. He strives forward consciously, but his subconscious thinking mantains the status quo of lack.
Or think of a young woman who desires to be married. She has had a string of promising relationships but they have all ended in shambles. Incidentally, this woman has the deep seated belief that she is ugly, and unworthy of love. Something she picked up from a cruel step-mother in her childhood. Can you begin to see how our inner negative thinking could undermine all our best conscious efforts?

So what are we to do about these limiting beliefs? How do they get there in the first place? How can we prevent or remove them? The answers to these questions can be found in an article I wrote a while ago. To access it please follow the link below:

http://ezinearticles.com/?Self-Limiting-Beliefs:--The-Inner-Enemies-of-Progress&id=14159

In my next post we will be doing an exercise to remove and replace these limiting beliefs. Please try to make a list of any you may identify in yourself. We will create some empowering ones to think on. Please check back next week, and do bring a friend, some pencils and paper.

Till next week, stay positive, and take care of your mind.

Warm regards,

Oma